Matt W Cook

Todd
In a day not too many tomorrow’s away from next Monday lived a quiet old hermit lady named Gumilda. She smelled like oats, and cardboard and her favorite pastime was smashing glass with her stick. The stick was a magical kind, which is impossible to break except for if you have the feather of Homil, which she didn’t, and didn’t care to because you see it was her stick. Anyway the story doesn’t begin with her because who wants to start a story with an old lady. The story actually begins next to a tree in the land of Inis.

Ben
The tree was inhabited by the name of three goats who lived on a diet of elderberry and Bruno’s arm hair. They were the most ferocious beasts in the land and it was said that the only way of to slay them was to make them do numerous dances of cheese ladles. As it so happens sometimes there was a small child who lived in a ditch and was fathered by a small tree squirrel of the wolverine variety, this child decided it was high time to these goats to dance the dance of cheese.

Matt
The small child was originally to be named ‘Shane’, which, in the small tree squirrel of the wolverine variety’s tongue, means ‘He who is great, mighty and full of great might’. Unfortunately, when the name was being recorded the recorder died before he could add the final vowel. Therefore he was Shan, which, though pronounced the same, means ‘apple’. This afforded his squirrelish schoolmates much opportunity to mock and scoff, and thus they did until he set out to force the dance of cheese upon the goats of the trees.

Todd
Now this is a particularly involving and erroneous task to undertake, given the fact that the three cheese-dancing goats lived only in the highest part of the tree and rarely came down unless a bruno came by, which happens about as often as the sun is cold. So Shan had the incredible job of climbing the tree which was taller than every other tree except the one tree north of John Paul’s house called “the tree which is north of John Paul’s house”. Why the heck they called it that not even John knows but then it doesn’t really matter anyway. So the tree had exactly eleventy billion branches and the 1st goat lived on branch number 450 billion, for eleventy is = 1000 billion in the squirrel language. So the boy set out with a piece of bread and some cheese, which was cheddar cause he likes that the best, and started up the tree.

Ben
Unfortunately the boy liked to eat food occasionally so he squished the bread and cheese together to make a nasty omelet type of meal. So, armed with absolutely nothing except his negative wit and non-sharp object and he mounted the first branch on which sat a young lemur named scuzz-name the bonafer, it turns out that this lemur knew ho-w to dance the dance of cheese unfortunately he had not the legs to perform the ancient ritual, so this lemur was no help and the chewed off his left ear in exchange for rubarb leaf.

Matt
You may think that this was a rather odd trade. This trade is not so odd once you consider the fact that this particular lemur was crazed out of his skull and was convinced that his left ear was planning on starting a revolt with his right thumb against the rest of his body. The ear had to be purged. Shan also found the trade beneficial because rubarb was a very rare commodity. It should not be confused with the earth-plant rhubarb, the tasty large-leafed plant that is oh-so yummy in pies. This rubarb is actually a red leaf that contains many chemicals that are useful for manipulating the minds of mammals (of which goats are a prominent member), granting some semblance of a gliding ability to one who eats of it (which is useful when one reaches the top of an eleventy-billion branch tree) and loosening the bowels of someone suffering constipation (which is rather useless in a country like Pakistan).

Todd
Shan immediately climbed seven more branches and after resting a short time noticed a bronze button the size and shape of a pole axe engraved into the tree. Being a child of negative wit, he pressed it, hoping he might obtain some sour candy. Instead a door in the side of the trunk popped open, and as his curiosity is a kin to his wit, he clamored inside and pressed another button, this time in the shape of a have burned speckled-trout with the number 18 lacquered into where his gill would have been.

Ben
Some people are born with brains, some people are born with strength, Shan was born with neither and had brain disorders which caused him to do things that normal people would consider “unsafe” or “unwise” or “unwilling.” Because of this rare disease Shan was prompted to push this button numerous times in not many seconds which caused his little cubicle to shoot upwards in the general direction of the sky. Upon stopping, Shan found himself in a new place, or rather, a new branch and instinctively started humming the tune to “The ol’ shovel’s hittin’ the kitten.”

Matt
At this precise moment nothing happened. But a few seconds later a small kitten appeared. When you picture a kitten, you likely picture a soft, sweet, friendly, cheerful kitten that loves to play with yarn and children. If that is the sort of kitten you pictured, you’re wrong. This kitten is of the rabid, ferocious, children-hating, family-devouring, fire-breathing, evil killer type (except for the fire-breathing…I made that up). The song that our dear hero Shan was humming had enraged the kitten, whose mother had been killed by a shovel. He dropped into an attack stance and gained a +5 to his dexterity and melee attack. Shan closed his eyes in terror. At this moment the kitten lost sight of him. You see, Shan and the kitten could have been related because this kitten was so mind-bogglingly stupid that it assumed that if you couldn’t see it, it couldn’t see you. It was about to walk away when Shan, idiot that he was, opened his eyes and again drew the attention of this small but ill-tempered beast.

Todd
The ferocious feline fell upon the frightened Shan with a purpose mentioned only in the goriest or silliest books written, which is why I will describe it to you. As it jumped across the expanse between them the kitten produced a chainsaw of brass and proceeded to shave the young lad like no barber had ever before. Of course for all of you who are not well versed in the arts of Kimokimokimokimokimoki, an initial advance with a brass chainsaw to a shaving position is easily countered by a glare from the left eye, which Shan did, and once done produced a stunned state for 4 seconds. The kitten reeled at the glare and lost its grip on the chainsaw which fell and felled most of the branches, (including the ugly branch) before coming to rest at the bottom of the tree.

Ben
Quickly regaining his composure the kitten then produced a weapon mostly consisting of twist ties and those bears that you see ride around on unicycles at the circus. Well, as you can imagine Shan did what any self-respecting negative wit would do, which was to sit down and wait for the blow to fall, for this was Shan’s special move. With a fire in his eyes and a joy in his heart, the kitten ran towards Shan twirling his mass of twist ties and circus clowns, Shan braced himself and exposed the most vulnerable part of his body. .

Matt
His most vulnerable part was certainly not his head, because he had never gotten much use out of that part of his body. The kitten struck Shan again and again while dear Shan grimaced and finally fell off the tree completely and landing on the brass chainsaw previously welded by the mighty kitten. At this point the kitten felt a dreadful pang of guilt that he never quite recovered from. The kitten went on to because a polish Presbyterian preacher, which is neither here nor there in the story. Shan’s fall had actually knocked quite a bit of sense and strength into his and changed his life completely. He joined the ranks of the jedi order and devoted his life to the preservation and rehabilitation of angry kittens.

Unpredictable

That’s the Pakistani Internet for ya, unpredictable. I’ve been to this cafe three times today. This is the first time it’s worked. Yipee.

Things are progressing nicely here. Having a good time, totally adjusted to the food. Actually, it seemed that when the team left my stomach grew some callouses and I’ve been pretty much fine ever since! Odd says I.

We’ve been trying to move to Kunri. But every time we talk to the lady that’s setting our house up there seems to be more delays. I think we’ll be in by the end of next week, but we were supposed to be in on the 15th. Oh well, we’ll see what happens.

I bought a goat. Well, me and Ruth’s dad got together to buy a goat. We’re gonna eat it for Christmas. Can’t wait! I’ve discovered my favorite dish during the past few weeks. Goat Karahi. Rocks.my.face.off Go get some on Gerrard St., you won’t regret it.

Election time here in Pakistan, and that actually causes quite a few logistical problems. You see, richshaws and taxis don’t run during elections because it seems that if any government fella sees you driving he’ll ‘borrow’ your vehicle to transport people to the voting booths. So Rani actually got stuck at school yesterday because she couldn’t get a richshaw home. Neat, eh?

Ruth and I are planning on kickin’ it to Karachi tomorrow. It’ll be neat to go on our own, without a guide or whatnot. I really am beginning to love that city.

You may have noticed that my previous blog advertising pictures proved to be…unreliable. That’s because the Internet here could be discribed as the same. I’m working on it, I’ll let ya’ll know when things are more normal.

Cook out!

I hate computers

I just finished a rather large and eloquent post, only to have the dear Pakistani Internet screw me over a bit and refuse to post the dear thing…Let’s give it another try.

And lo, there was much rejoicing!

The biggest of congrats go out to my dear Andy Mack and his dear Rachel. God will richly bless you in this oh-so pretty institution called marriage. Here’s some tips that will help you in your pre-wedding experience:
1 – It is very important to make up sappy, squishy pet-names for each other and use them exlusively, especially in public. Names that involove teddy bears and words that cannot be spelt are the best.
2 – From here on out you are required to dress the same. All day, every day.
3 – Follow the advice Andy Mack gave when a friend asked him how to make marriage work.
4 – Never listen to a bozo who makes a list of advice for you.

Anyway, marriage rocks, you’ll love it. I can’t tell you how giddy I am, but I can show you:

You’ve rocked my face off. I can’t wait to tell Ruth!

Cooked.

It’s a smelly city…but it grows on ya

Karachi. Home to 14 million people. One of the largest Muslim citys on the planet. I remember my first time here. I hated it. I thought it was the worse place I had ever been to. You know what I think of it now? I think I love it. Sure it’s crowded and dirty and such, but there’s something about it that’s very appealing. I’m not sure what it is, but I’m sure I’ll be back. Very interesting city! You think Toronto traffic’s bad? Not by a long shot! These drivers are nuts. John and I almost were run over by a bus! Crazy-go-nuts. We walked for hours shopping through the massive bazaars here. We found such lovely American goodies like Nutella, Peanut Butter and the creme-de-la-creme, a coffee maker. I can now live here and stay sane!

We’re here right now. We just sent the team off on their jet plane and I think they should have made it back to Canada by now. Ruth’s father has to make a few visits to the Doctor and then we’ll be off tomorrow morning back to Sanghar. A couple weeks after that we’ll head to Kunri for Ruth to begin her teaching and me to begin seriously studying Urdu.

Keep doing the prayer thing, it’s all we really need. Within half a month I should have my own Internet connection, then the blogs will fly, I promise!

Cook out (man, I’d love a cook-out right now…)

PS – We met with a few friends here in town not too long ago. We found out that they are from a church called Bethlehem Baptist Church. Neat, eh?

Pictures

I’ve got some new pictures up at rmfo-pics.net. Check them out!

Reflections on infant baptism and the voice of God

My father-in-law is an Anglican Priest. He is also a very godly man. Three years ago I would not have thought that those two things were compatible. I grew up in the Brethren Assemblies, and I’m rather thankful for that. I believe that the Assemblies have some good things going for them. It was in the Assemblies that I first heard the call of Christ and set my face to follow. I was baptized in an Assembly. I’ve been with them all my life and will likely continue to be with them when I’m in Canada. Lately, however, I’ve been noticing some common problems with our little denomination. Every problem that any denomination has always boils down to people. People screw things up; I think the Bible mentions that somewhere.
Anyway, many people I respected in the Brethren circles would not accept the idea that my dear father-in-law was a godly man and an Anglican at the same time. We’re rather stuck up that way. Every other sermon I hear from the Brethren platform has some sort of dig against this group or that group or some book or tradition. Now, I can see where criticism is needed against certain things, but not to the point where it’s the defining characteristic of our little group.
But I’m getting off topic before I even get on it. Yesterday we went with my dear father-in-law to a man’s house. This man has about six kids and a billion grand-kids all living in the same house. He’s a traveling, unpaid evangelist with a big heart. He’s also an Anglican. God gave him a new grand-child recently. A girl on May 18 at about 5:00pm (The exact same date and time Joseph was born). Like any good Anglican, he wanted this child baptized. I was the preacher at this little ceremony. Now, 4 years back I would have thought this whole thing was just plain awful. How dare they baptize this infant! The child doesn’t know what’s going on, how can she make a choice for herself? Geez, I bet they even think that this baptism saves her. I think I was a bit of an arrogant dummy 4 years back. In all honesty, I loved the service. I preached about how children are a gift from God, and how the most important thing a parent can do is to point their children in the direction of God. We sang a few songs, and then the parents brought the dear little child up to the front, where my father-in-law (Devraj) and I were sitting. He took the baby and blessed her. He prayed over her and then sprinkled water on her. The mother was almost crying.
I think I learned something there. There is a tendency for us to become racist. Not against other ethic groups, but other traditions and practices within the evangelical church. Not for a second did anyone in that room think that the water saved the child. This ceremony was a symbol of the parents giving the child up to God, of them consecrating her to His service. I think that’s beautiful. How could anyone argue against it?
Don’t think of this as a Brethren-bash. I love the little group I’m associated with. It’s full of lovely people. But, just like in any group, we run into unique dangers. Our danger stems from our belief that we exclusively practice New Testament gathering principles. We run the risk of assuming that any practice or tradition that we don’t do is simply unbiblical. I’ve been with the Christians here for a bit more than two weeks now and I find some of the things they do beautiful. The way they express their faith and run their meetings highlights different things. In our groups we highlight the simplicity of faith and priesthood of all believers and out direct access to God. And we do well to do that because these are all good things. But here I see something a little different. They highlight the solemn yet joyful worship of Christ, the holiness of God and His other-ness. They do well because these are all good things. We highlight His accessibility and they highlight His transcendence. We highlight His positional work and they highlight His practical work.
We aren’t against each other. We compliment each other. I used to think that denominations were a tool of the devil, but I think I’m drifting a little from that belief. Through the different outward styles people use we can see different parts of God highlighted. Through other people we can hear the distinct voice of God.
Food for thought.

Paki-blog!

What a wonderful country this is. I believe I’ve gotten used to it. I love walking down through the Bazaar and shops. The people are lovely and talkative. I’m very glad that I (and Ruth) am here.

Yes, she made it. She had a tearful reunion with her father and family and has begun to settle into life in Pakistan. The team is doing quite well, almost all the stomach oddities are gone and spirits are high. My sister-in-law Rakhel will be getting married next week and we’re all busy getting ready for it.

I took our dear little Joe to get some shots today (‘cuz Polio and TB are not good things). He didn’t like it one little bit. but I’m sure he’ll appreciate it in the future.

We took a trip to Kunri yesterday to see the school that Ruth will be teaching at. I think we also scored a lovely little house while we were there, things are going well!

The trip’s half-over (for the team), please pray for them as they go through this final stretch. Pray that God would show them more of Himself and His heart.

I’m very encouraged, I can live here. It has become normal to me. Praise God for that.

Hopefully soon I’ll be able to blog on a more regular basis, but until then, just keep praying.

In Him,
Matthew

Hey kids, Cook here!

You know, since we’ve been married Ruth and I have never been seperated for any extended period of time. I can’t tell you how much I miss her right now. Even though it sucks, I’m sure this experience is good for us, because all things work for good, right? I appreciate Ruth so much more now that she’s not here. Please pray for her, I’m scared about this long flight she’s on. Please, please pray.

We’re sitting here are the Internet cafe, struggling with the heat, incredibly slow Internet, noisy traffic outside. But I’m so happy that I’m finally here. The team is doing good, they send their love. Please pray for them too. The Internet is very slow, it was a miracle I could get to Blogger, my Gmail is giving me trouble, so I don’t know if I can get my Emails out. Please consider this a personal Email to anyone who wants one.

I suppose this is my first post from Pakistan. I don’t think I’ve got any words of wisdom…except maybe for two. 1 – A great wife is better than gold, rubies, cars, video games, or anything else that you may like. I suggest you find one and never ever let her out of your sight. 2 – Better is the little that the righteous has than the abundance of many wicked. Because in the end true righteousness is worth more than anything you could possibly imagine.

So maybe you should keep that in mind and pray for my wife and son. I hope they’re both sleeping right now. God guard them…

Hello friends!
This is Ruth. Just wanted to update you all a little. :) Ok, here is what has been happening lately. As many of you know, the team and Matthew have arrived safely in Pakistan. Joe and I, on the other hand are still here in Cananda!! What happend, you may wonder. Well, we were all ready and on our way, showing our tickets and what not, the agent tells me that I cannot go! I asked why and he said that since I am not Canadian, I need a travelling pass or visa to travel through the European countries. That for sure was a shock to us. Something that we never expected to happen. To make the story short, we tried very hard right and then to get me another flight but no such luck. In doing all that, Matthew ended up missing his flight but thankfully got another one in a few hours without any extra charge. Both Joe and I ended up staying here. I was VERY upset, angry and frustrated. Then of course the people at the air-port aren’t the most friendly and helpful. Anyways, Thursday and Friday were very tiring. Lots of running around at the terminals inorder to find some help re my next flight.
As of now, I have talked to Matthew a few times. Everybody is doing good. Is safe and having a good time. Joe and I fly on this Wed around 11:40pm. First flight is from TO to Hong Kong (19 hours). 10 hours waiting at the air-port there and then final flight (9hours) to Karachi). Yes, a VERY long one but that seems to work for now. So please pray for us. I am a little nervous to travel with my little son. I have never done this before. So pray for the strength. God is good and has been teaching us to trust in HIM and know that He is faithful. Today I can say that whatever has been, it’s good becasue I know that we are in HIS Hands. He has a reason for all this. Praise God! Thank you all so much for your prayers, love and support.
God is good
Standing on His promises
Ruth

Yodh and Mem

6 minutes left at the terminal in Heathrow. We’re well on our way. Some neat things have happened in the last 24 hours or so. Thank God He’s in control of it all.

Pray for the rest of the trip, especially for Ruth.

More when we make it to Karachi.

Blessings,
Matthew