Matt W Cook

writer.former fundamentalist.christianly fellow

Category: Archive

Not because of who I am…

I want to do something great. I want my life to count for something. I want to do good.

But there’s a problem with that. I’m not good. I’m not skilled. I’m not a very nice, smart, strong or disciplined person. My greatest affections are weak and my warmest thoughts are cold. I say big things but my heart squeaks small things. My faith and my desires change as the days go by. On top of all this, I’m only going to be around for another 50 years or so, I’m running out of time.

But something stills dwells inside of me. Something that still wants to do something great. Something that hates the thought of God not being seen as great. Something that hates the thought of man going through life and death without ultimate meaning and hope. Something’s there, but I didn’t put it there.

I think I will do something great. I think that wonderful things will happen in my life in these next few years, though none may ever hear about it. I believe that god wants me to do what I’m planning on doing. I think it was His idea in the beginning. And that’s why I think it will all work out. On my own I’m pretty much screwed.

Here’s the thing. I’m trying to do something big. I mean really, really big. Something cosmic and eternal. Something that will last longer than the earth itself. Not only is it big, but it’s rather impossible. There is no real way that I could ever succeed, I’m just not skilled or strong or disciplined or godly enough. But God is. God can do it. God can do anything. God can do anything in this real world that we’re really living in. He’ll do it. He’ll do it all.

I’m off, I’ll try to post again before I leave. I just want to all to know, as you think or pray about us please remember that this is a fool’s errand. This is silly, reckless and a little crazy. But it’ll work. Not because of who I am, but because of what HE’s done. Not because of what I’ll do, but because of who HE is. I think that’s what it means to walk by faith, realize that the crazy, reckless things are only crazy and reckless for people who don’t have God working for them. God’ll do it all.

On we go then.

It’s been a while, but are you surprised?
So much to post about, so little time…I’m not too sure what to say, but stay tuned for a bigger, better post in the near future.

Things have been going great for us here, so much has been done since my last post. We’ve adjusted to this new version of ‘normal’ that dear Joseph has given us, we’ve taken care of his passport and visa so he’s quite ready for Pakistan. We were able to see Levi and Theresa in Toronto while we were running around finishing things at the Pakistani consulate General (wow that was a long day!). So much has gone on and we’ve seen God direct us in beautiful ways. I preached my final sermon at Ridgeville and gave a farewell address (made a few folks cry).

Ruth and I are trying to kick up our discipline level a notch. It turns out that become parents doesn’t automatically give you that, you still have to get it the old-fashioned way.

That’s all I’ve got for tonight, me and Joe are heading down to join mom in bed, good night all!

Matthew

On the road again…

Quick update for you all! We’re planning on heading up to Peterborough this weekend. We’ll try to visit you when we get there. We’ll likeyl be at Edmison Heights Bible Chapel on Sunday.

See ya there.

PS – AndyMack, your presence is requested, by order of the Emperor.

ahhh…all is good

Children are wonderful things.

We’re home and rested now. Ruth’s pain has pretty much gone away and we’re getting used to this new version of ‘normal’ that we’ve been given. I realize that my life will never go back to the normal I used to have, rather I have been given a brand new normal that seems a little abnormal for now.

I always get asked what I’m thinking / feeling. I have a really hard time answering that question. I suppose I should be able to wax eloquent about the rivers of joy and gladness flowing from my heart from the first moment that I saw him, but I don’t think that’s an accurate description of what happened. I don’t really know what happened. I don’t really know how I feel. I feel happy. Very happy.

There is a type of satisfaction that’s come over me. It’s almost like I’m done. Like my little family is complete now. I intend to have more kids eventually, but for now…I feel done.

I love Joseph. I love his mom. I think I’d do anything for them. What a new situation I find myself in. In a lot of ways it feels surreal. In a lot of ways it seems very normal. In a lot of ways I just don’t know. All I really know is now I have a wife and a kid, and I’m very happy about that.

Extra, extra, read all about it!
It’s time for a full update. Here’s the story from start to finish (with pictures!)

For quite some time we’ve been anticipating the arrival of our baby. The due date was May 20, but Ruth and I are very impatient people. On Monday our dear friend, Mel Bee, came down to stay for a week or so. She was to be my co-coach for Ruthie. Over the past week Ruth and I tried a whole bunch of things to get this baby to come a little early. Spicy food, herbal tea, cake, etc., nothing seemed to do anything. On the evening of the 17th, Mel Ruth and I went for a walk / light jog to the mall and back. That night Ruth couldn’t sleep. She has cramps and in the morning she found out she was leaking a little. I called the hospital and they told us to come in.

We arrived at the hospital at 7:20 and kicked it up to the maternity wing where we hung out in an assessment room for a while.
Ruth got examined and we found out that she was in labor and already 2-3 centimeters dilated! Rock on, says Matt, this seems pretty easy so far.

We moved to a delivery room and Ruth got her water broke by our dear Dr. Shetty at 8:20. We were having a pretty good time by now. I called my parents to let them know what’s going down and to get them to bring coffee and muffins (8:30). Ten minutes later I called Ruth’s insurance company (because a delivery is far too expensive a thing to pay for on our own!).

At around 9:00 we went for a little walk around the floor. Not much going on, still feeling pretty good.

At 10:30 there was no change so Dr. Shetty hooked Ruthie up to Oxytocin, a neat-o drug that’s supposed to increase contractions and speed up the ‘dilation’ process. I then retrieved popsicles for the girls at 11:00 (Ruth had orange and Mel had chocolate). We then applied a butterfly tattoo to Ruth’s belly.

‘Twas pretty.

At 12:15 Dr. Shetty checked Ruth again and found that no progress had been made. She was still only 2-3 cm. He upped the Oxytocin drippy-do. On a scale of 1 to 10 Ruth rated her pain at 4.

12:20 – Ruth is very tired. The contractions hurt quick a bit now. Not much fun, though still in good spirits

1:30 – Getting worse. She’s breathing well but expresses a desire for this all to be over (duh). She is getting a lot of joy out of a lullaby CD that Mel got her. Ruth rates the pain as a 7-8 now. She rocks my face off. I called Dave to give him the head’s up again. He’ll be here soon with lunch!

2:30 – believe it or not, there is no change. She is still only at 2-4 cm. Baby has moved down a bit, but not enough. Nurse gives an e.t.a. at 6-12 hours, with an emphasis on the 12. Looks like we’re in this for the long haul.

3:30 – Incredible amount of pain. She makes the choice to go for the epidural (she’s such a trooper, I love her).

4:00 – Dr. comes in to do the epidural. He struck me as a little clumsy *shudder*. It actually took him two tries to do it right…and he talked too much. But I’m not annoyed… Anyway, once she gets the epidural she immediately goes to 6 cm. Ruth still has pain, but it’s not from the contractions anymore, it’s from the pressure of the baby coming down now.

4:30 – Fully dilated!

4:45 – I can see the baby’s head!

PUSH

5:05 – Joseph William Cook arrives on the scene (I cut the cord)!

Apparently I was grinning like a fool. I watched intently as they washed him up and checked him out. I counted fingers and toes, just to make sure. Rock on!

epilogue.
Joe loves to breastfeed, there was no learning curve for him, he latched on right away and sucked his brain out. Hungry dude.

One thing that I beg you to pray for. When Ruth had the epidural the Doc poked a little too far and ‘tapped’ her. She’s having ‘spinal headaches’ right now. It’s painful to stand up. Please pray. That being said, neither of us regret any choices we made during the labor process, we consider it all a grinning success.

Feel free to drop by for a visit. I pray that Ruth will be out of the hospital tomorrow. Pray with us!

I’m a daddy.

Click here for a video.

If I told you I would call you and I didn’t…I’m sorry
DONE!

In the birthing corner, weighing in at 7lbs, 2 ounces, may I present Joseph William Cook!

He was born at 5:05 in the afternoon on May 18th. Pray for Ruth. She’s quite sore right now. I’ll post a full story tomorrow, for now, I gotta go celebrate!

Matt & Ruth win!

Picking up stuff for Ruth at the Office.

She’s having a great time, we’re going to watch Chicago soon. No real pain, soon and very soon.

Water = Broken

Ruth is in labour!!
Went to the hospital this morning at 7:45am
She is doing good..
Check back soon for more news.

Any day now…

Mel Bee’s coming down today anticipating the arrival of a baby (notice it’s ‘coming’, not ‘comeing’. Compare with ‘hoping’ as opposed to ‘hopeing’). It’s hard to believe that any day now I’ll become a full-fledged father. Creepy.

I was speaking at Greenwood Gospel Chapel this past Sunday. What a wonderful group of people. Very friendly and very open. I’ve never received an ‘amen’ during a sermon at a Brethren place, but I got about 20 of them here. I left quite early (too early) so I had plenty of time to stop, read, pray and drink coffee on the way.

Unrelated, but I’ve been thinking a lot about how we present ourselves lately. For example, when I preach I tell people that the most important thing that they could ever do is make Jesus the center of their lives ad give everything up to follow after Him. I encourage them to remove the distractions in their lives and run after Christ. Then I go home and sleep and play video games. I suppose a lot of preachers do this. I suppose this is normal, but normal is rarely good. So if you know me only by my preaching, you likely don’t know who I really am. I’m not saying that I shouldn’t preach the way I do. Preaching should be based on the Bible, not on my own life struggles. It’s hard to be genuine because it’s very dangerous. We all talk a certain way when we’re around certain people. We change our views and our words based on who if listening. I don’t think this is very good.

I’m not too sure what I’m saying, but I know that I need Jesus more. I’m pretty sure that’s the answer to every problem I’ve had over the past 23 years.

Ruth and I are trying to memorize Ps. 16. I’ve got about three verses done, but it’s so beautiful. It talks about those who run after other gods and how they’ll never be satisfied with that. I think that’s where I am, I’m running after crap that doesn’t satisfy while calling others to follow Jesus. What I say is good, but my actions…miss.

Get up and try again.

Mack’s right, don’t plan to write, just write

“Hello everyone and welcome to Popular Game Show! I’m your host, Guy Smiley”

*Applause*

“We have a very special episode for you today. We have two teams of our best contestants from previous episodes competing for the Ultimate grand prize, that rare and beautiful gem, that Pearl of Great Price, the Beatific Vision! This pearl weighs in at an amazing 250lbs pounds, making it the largest pearl in existence by far. There’s none like it! It has been sought after since time began.”

*Applause*

“Let’s meet our teams. In the blue shirts we have Team Terrarum returning from a winning streak of more than 2000 episodes, congratulations guys.”

TT: Thanks, Guy.

“And a relative new-comer in the red shirts we have The Company of Caelestis, also known simply as R.E.R.. These folks have had a bit of a rough go in past episodes, but they’ve never actually been eliminated, let’s see how they do today. How do you feel R.E.R.?”

CoC: Pretty good, Guy.

“Wonderful! Before I tell you what you’ll be doing today, I want to ask, if you win, what will you be doing with this incredibly large prize?”

TT: We decided to sell it to the highest bidder, I imagine that it’ll fetch a pretty good price, don’t ya think?

“I’m sure it will, what about you, Company of Caelestis?

CoC: In all honesty, we just want to look at it and probably show it to other people.

“Well to each his own, eh? Bobby, why don’t you tell our contestants what the task will be today?”

Bobby: Certainly Guy! Each team will be given one size-ten sewing needle donated by one of our values sponsors, Mom’s Sewing, located in Matt Cook’s mom’s sewing room. You rip it, she’ll sew it.

In addition to the needle, each team will also be given a rather large Dromedary Camel (watch out, they spit). The object of today’s episode is rather simple. Take your camel and make it go through the eye of your needle! Regardless of how the game turns out today, the teams will be allowed to keep their camels (the needles, however, need to be returned before Matt’s mom finds out they are missing). Back to you, Guy!

“Thanks Bobby! Alright teams, you have your assignments, now get to your bases and get those camels through those needles!”

*Applause*

[AWordFromOurSponsers]
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TT: Okay guys, I’ve got a plan. What we’ll do is pluck every single bit of hair off of this camel and put them all through the eye of the needle one at a time. I figure a bald camel is not much of a camel at all because the camel-ness of a camel is the camel hair, right? So once we get the hair of this camel through the eye of this needle, that pearl is as good as ours. What do ya say? Tony, start with the head and work down. Bill, you start with feet and work up. Me, I’ll watch and warn you if the camel looks like he’s going spit.

CoC: Hmm, this seems a little tough, but we have to get that pearl…Now, we all know that it’s impossible to get a camel through the eye of a needle. There is absolutely no way that a camel could possibly get himself through this needle. But, perhaps if the camel ceased to be a camel there would be a way. I have an idea. What we’ll do is get a vat of sulfuric acid (I happen to have one in my trunk) and we’ll melt the camel down to it most basic elements. When the camel is fully liquefied, we’ll squirt him through the eye of the needle. He’ll never be the same, but at least he’ll be through.

*Three days later*

“Alright, your time is up! Let’s see how our contestants did! Team Terrarum, how did you do?”

TT: Great! We got the whole camel through!

“You did? But what’s that standing behind you?”

TT: What? Where?

“Right behind you, that large naked camel.”

TT: ‘Tisn’t a camel.

“Well what is it then?”

TT: It’s a…horse. Yes, that’s it, a horse.

“…”

TT: You see, when we removed all the hair from the Camel (a rather difficult task) the animal ceased to be a camel. We figure it’s a horse now. And we wouldn’t want to break the rules by trying to put a horse through the eye of a needle now would we?

“But I think it’s still a camel.”

TT: No it isn’t.

“But it is! It still does the things that camels do. It spits, it has a hunt, I’d wager that it still has camel DNA in it’s blood. I really don’t think this mound of hair beside your needle counts. We’ll leave that to the judges for now. What about you, the team formerly known as R.E.R.? How did you do? Where’s your camel and what’s with that vat of goo beside your needle?”

CoC: That’s our camel.

“…”

CoC: You see, we realized that there was no way a camel could ever get himself through the eye of a needle in his present form. Only from changing the camel into something totally different could we get him through. You see, that puddle of goo can no longer rightly be called a camel, it doesn’t fit the requirements of a camel. It doesn’t do camel things, it doesn’t desire what camels desire. It’s something totally different now. Now it fulfills all the requirements of something that can easily fit through the eye of a needle.

“… You melted my camel?”

CoC: You said we could keep him!

“That’s true…I do hope no-one from the humane society is watching today.”

CoC: But we did do it, didn’t we? We got the camel through the eye of the needle, didn’t we?

“That you did, that you did. Congratulations, Company of Caelestis, you have won the Ultimate grand prize! I’m sorry Team Terrarum, but the judges have just finished a DNA test on your…horse. As it turns out it’s a camel, although it seems a little bit more irate than most of the camels I’ve met. Better luck next on Popular Game Show!”

*No camels were injured, plucked or liquefied in the posting of this blog.