Matt W Cook

writer.former fundamentalist.christianly fellow

Month: September, 2009

Out from the deep end.

Where I work there are sometimes extended periods of time where there is nothing to do. So the staff relaxes on the couches and flips on the TV. At this point the following scene plays out: one staff grabs the controller and begins to flip through the channels. After about ten minutes of futile scanning another staff will comment on how there is nothing good on TV these days. The others will grunt in ageement. Eventually the flipping will stop and they’ll settle on TLC where they will watch three straight episodes of ‘Say Yes to the Dress’ (why a show like this is on the LEARNING channel, I’ll never know).

Now, no one on staff actually cares about these people and their dress choices. But we all watch anyway. Conversation dies and we are drawn in. Entertainment.

Is it shallow? It seems like it. We all agree that there is hardly anything worth watching on TV. Yet we watch it anyway. We all seems to agree that entertainment has become a shallow thing. But we chase it, still.

As I sit and watch these girls fight and cry over their dresses I find myself dumbed (if that is a word). I am pacified, but not stimulated. Amused (in its truest sense), but not enriched.

Is it not possible that entertainment be deep? I think it is. And I think that this kind of entertainment is even more beneficial and more fun than popular entertainment. It just seems to take a bit more effort to enjoy.

I sometimes think that the difference between shallow entertainment and deep entertainment is a lot like the differences between a cigarette and a pipe. The cigarette is easy to use, gives an more powerful feeling than the pipe and is easier to get a hold of. But it also destroys you. The pipe is kinda difficult to smoke properly, doesn’t give such a powerful initial pleasure and it’s kinds rare. But (since you don’t inhale the smoke) its damage to the body is (compared to cigarettes) negligible.

I don’t want to kill my mind with cigarette shows, sites and stories. But it’s hard to quit smoking, eh?

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Deery Deery

The deer pants for water. I think David’s analogy is pretty profound. The deer pants. It doesn’t just want. It doesn’t just agree that water is a fitting thing to pursue. It doesn’t even have faith that water will be a satisfying thing, once obtained. It just pants. It couldn’t even really tell you why it panted. It only knows that there is something deep within it that screams out for water. An insatiable urge that it cannot control, manufacture or deny. It simply pants.

What a picture!

When I first realized that David was simply expressing his own desires for God, it worried me. It worried me because of how little it is like the way I desire God. I know that God is all-satisfying. I know that tasting him proves his goodness. I know that I will be restless until I find rest in him. But do I pant?

I was worried.

But then I had a realization: the Christian life is better compared to a treatment plan than a quick cure. Sin is more like a resilent cancer than appendicitis. It’s not something that is simply cut out. It takes years of vigilent fighting.

I have soul-cancer. It poisons my mind and emotions so much that I pant for gasoline and shun water. But the cancer is being cured. David’s was cured so much that he panted for the right things. I pant to pant. I desire to desire. I’m on the right track. I’m taking chemotherapy. I’m still sick but the cure is on the way.

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Deery Deery

The deer pants for water. I think David’s analogy is pretty profound. The deer pants. It doesn’t just want. It doesn’t just agree that water is a fitting thing to pursue. It doesn’t even have faith that water will be a satisfying thing, once obtained. It just pants. It couldn’t even really tell you why it panted. It only knows that there is something deep within it that screams out for water. An insatiable urge that it cannot control, manufacture or deny. It simply pants.

What a picture!

When I first realized that David was simply expressing his own desires for God, it worried me. It worried me because of how little it is like the way I desire God. I know that God is all-satisfying. I know that tasting him proves his goodness. I know that I will be restless until I find rest in him. But do I pant?

I was worried.

But then I had a realization: the Christian life is better compared to a treatment plan than a quick cure. Sin is more like a resilent cancer than appendicitis. It’s not something that is simply cut out. It takes years of vigilent fighting.

I have soul-cancer. It poisons my mind and emotions so much that I pant for gasoline and shun water. But the cancer is being cured. David’s was cured so much that he panted for the right things. I pant to pant. I desire to desire. I’m on the right track. I’m taking chemotherapy. I’m still sick but the cure is on the way.

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Not wanting what I want

Do you have a pen near you? Grab it. And a piece of paper. We’re going to do an exercise together.

Write a list of the things you want to do. Not just normal stuff like ‘I want to eat KFC (mmmmm….KFC…)’ but serious, deep, heart-felt desires. Don’t just think about it in your head. Seriously write it down. I’ll do it too.

Okay got your list? If not, stop reading until you do.

Go it now? Good. So look at it and ask yourself, are you on your way to accomplishing these things? Any of them? Why not?

Let’s do a case study. I’ll pick a random thing from my list: ‘I want to learn Urdu to such an extent that I speak, read and write like a native.’
My Urdu is rusty. I really realized that yesterday night. I mean really, rusty. But not just because I”m out of practice. Because I stopped progressing. Why? The desire to master the Urdu language is deep on my heart. So why don’t I take the steps to get it? Why don’t I take the steps to fulfill all those other things on my list? Why don’t you?

Frankly, because we don’t feel like it.

I don’t feel like practicing Urdu. I don’t feel like reaching out to my community. I don’t feel like writing. I don’t feel like praying. I just don’t feel like it.

I look at some of the famous people who lived 100 years ago. Doesn’t it look like they were more productive than we are? Why? Was it because they felt like it? I don’t think so. I think that they were more in control of their feelings. Or, if not, they were in control of how they responded to their feelings. Do you think Edwards felt like locking himself in his study for 13 hours a day? I really doubt it. But he believed in his tasks and in his dreams so much that his desire to complete them overcame his desire to sit on his duff and watch TV.

So I sit here and look at my list, not feeling like doing any of them yet desiring them all. What will I do? I think I’ll try to want them more, and tell my feelings off and just do them.

On we go.

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Productive World-Building

You may never have heard of the oft-deadly World-Builder’s Disease. But you may have suffered from a strand of it. Let me explain.

Among fantasy writers, World-Builder’s Disease is a debilitating disease that makes you feel wonderfully productive. Rumor has it that Tolkien struggled with it. Basically, it’s when a writer is so focused with creating his world that he pretty much forgets to write the stories that make people like me care about the world. There are many aspiring sci-fi / fantasy writers who have been robbed of potential novels because of it. Usually they just degenerate into role-players.

But there’s another strand of this disease that affects anyone concerned with productivity. It’s symptoms are often elusive. Generally, the infected individual will spend most of his time reading productivity books, making task lists and organizing work spaces. But very little work is actually done. The subject generally earns the title of ‘workaholic’ without the benefit of true productivity.

And then there’s another strain that affects those who value spirituality. It’s pretty much the same of the productivity disease. The victim starts spending all his time reading about how to be spiritual, how to pray, how to love his neighbor and how to live a radical Christian life. But he reads so much that he doesn’t have time to put any of it into practice.

Be wary of these diseases!

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A Lesson from Pokémon

I arrived in Viridian Forest with high hopes. High hopes and a ragamuffin army. It was led by my Squirtle, recently having learned Bubble and looking handsome at level 9. Next was a sly Ratata at level 7. He was followed by a Mankey, my newest recruit at level 5. I was looking for trouble.

It found me.

A bugcatcher challenged me to a fight. I wasn’t worried. I’d heard of these bug catchers before. Their reliance on inferior insect pokémon was a weakness I was ready to exploit. Bugs were vulnerable to fire and flying pokémon. This knowledge, knowledge of the inner workings of the pokémon game, would help me.

Unfortunately, I have no flying or fire pokémon.

It was a hard battle. My ratata was poisoned and my mankey fainted. My squirtle sustained heavy injuries. I was a little humiliating. I limped back to the nearest Poké Center.

The whole way back I was arguing with myself. A bugcatcher almost defeated me. A bugcatcher! The lowest form of pokémon trainer out there! The butt of almost every poké-joke! How can I hope to take on gym leaders, not to mention the Elite Four, if a measly little bugcatcher give me trouble? Why should I bother continuing? I’m obviously not cut out for this sort of thing. Maybe I should devote myself to needlepoint instead.

I want to let you in on a little secret: I’m a bad writer. Seriously, I am. Check out my back posts and you’ll see. Most days I can hardly stand to read my stuff. I’m like the bugcatcher of writers. And for those of you who don’t know Pokémon, that’s baaaaad.

But, on good days, I realize that I am not destined to be a bugcatcher forever. I’ll not wander the tall grasses of Viridian Forest all my life, excited by metapods and kakunas who cannot even defend themselves. No, I’m going PAST Viridian. Viridian Forest will serve a purpose. But it is not where I live. I’m headed to the Indigo Plateau. I’m destined to take on the Elite Four. I plan to be the Pokémon League Champion. Today I train my ratata. Tomorrow my blastoise.

I won’t be a crappy writer forever. And you won’t be a crappy [insert whatever you are/want to be] forever. On we go.

Ariel’s Story #5 – Seeping In

var addthis_pub=”4a0af351783743a8″;    Arrangements were made under the strictest security. Each sack of fine flour was thoroughly searched. The oil and honey was tasted. Even the gold and precious stones that made up Sume’s jewelry was tested, both for impurities and for anything of the Shadow. The Man spared no expense as he ensured that everything he lavished on his new bride was good.
    Sume el Raj stood in front of her building, no longer a vagrant. Her building stood firm and tall, full of tenants and overflowing with declarations of wealth. Not the gaudy golden-paint that Domos had favoured. But deep, vibrant colours; red and purple and blue. Colours that declared “Someone important lives here! Someone of consequence! Someone remarkable!”
    And as she stood there in front of all the people of the village she knew that it was true. There were none before her who would dare call her common. The week before they may have kicked at her and sent her away, but today they were all begging her to visit their buildings and huts. Encouraging her to come through their arch as she made her way to the cistern.
    Thick blankets were laid out on the lawn. Food was laid out. Not the decadent food of Domos and her daughters, for certain things were now forbidden to Sume. But rich food, nonetheless; honeycakes baked in oil and finest wine anyone had tasted. Everyone sat and ate. The village became Sume’s guests.
    Sume sat to eat with them, but she did not touch the wine. Though married for only a week, she could already feel the life growing within her. And the Man had warned about wine during pregnancy. He had given many warnings, actually.
    “Remember Domos, your sister,” the Man had said. “Remember what her sickness was. Her wealth did not corrupt her. It was her decadence. Beware prosperous ease. Share what you have. Be a friend to the nations and bless them.”
    “Yes, husband,” Sume had answered, gazing at the Man’s dark hair, lightly falling to his shoulders.
    “And take note of your older sister, Marasia,” he continued. “She plays the whore. And that is a dangerous game to play. The sickness can be horribly inflamed in that lifestyle.”
    “Yes, husband.” Sume was nearly lost in his voice, deep and smooth, playing off of the dancing rhythm of the fountain they sat beside.
    “And, Sume,” the Man took her chin gently in his large hand. “Stay away from the cistern.” His eyes seemed sad on this point. “Be vigilant and watch! Let nothing defile the food I give you. Be satisfied with my provision.”
    Sume laughed and embraced the Man. “Oh husband! Why would I ever go near that dirty cistern when you have given me this fountain? Why would I ever eat anything but the food from your hands? You have given me the moon in a jar! How cold I even imagine anything else?”
    The Man squeezed her tight. “Yes. How could you?” Sume did not see his eyes moisten.

    They were feasting. The Corpse perceived this, though it didn’t see or hear or smell. Neither could it touch or taste or think. But it perceived. It lay in the bushes just beyond the fence. It had tried to enter Sume’s property, but the Man’s guards were everywhere. The same ones that had destroyed Domos and her daughters.
    The Corpse lay still for hours, which should not have been too difficult for a corpse. But the lack of movement caused the borrowed body to decay quicker than expected. It had little movement left. But only a little was needed, when the time became right.
    And it would be right.

    In my dream I also received an invitation to the feast. In truth I was not looking forward to it. I had been in that village for a long time without a proper shower or change of clothes. And I still didn’t feel soiled enough to take a dip in the cistern. So I rubbed some pine leaves on myself and combed my hair with my fingers. I was actually thankful that there was no mirror available. The sight of myself might have been enough to stop me from going.
    “Don’t worry about how you look,” Digue said to me. He hadn’t bothered to even try grooming himself. “You wouldn’t have cared if you were meeting Sume a week ago.”
    “It’s different now,” I said.
    “How?”
    “She’s el Raj now. She’s special.”
    Digue shrugged. “In a way. In another way, though, she’s not special at all.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “Her specialness lies outside of herself. Its root is in the Man.”
    “Ah,” I said. “But surely there must be something inherently special about her. Otherwise, why would the Man have chosen her at all.”
    “Nope,” Digue shook his head. “There was nothing special in her. The Man’s love found its way to her arbitrarily.”
    “That doesn’t seem fair, then. There are many orphans in this village. Why her, if not because there was something special about her?”
    “Certain types of love are always arbitrary.” Digue stood up. “But it doesn’t matter. Let’s get going. I can smell the food from here.”
    We walked together toward Sume’s building. Even before we could see the massive picnic we could here it, smell it. Excitement rose. I was so excited that I didn’t even notice, as we passed a large bush and walked through the gate, the little splash of dark, red liquid that was spat at my foot. I didn’t notice it come from the bushes we walked by. I didn’t notice the dead body there, perceiving.
    I went and joined the feast.
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Born of the Mist

var addthis_pub=”4a0af351783743a8″;Until he was given the daunting task of finishing The Wheel of Time, Brandon Sanderson was largely unknown.

Which is a shame, really.

If he were famous, but not for finishing Jordan’s masterpiece, he would be famous for his Mistborn trilogy. He’s not really famous for it. But maybe he should be.

I just finished the second book late last night. I’m barely holding myself from the third. I commend the series to you, and here’s why:

  • It’s thoroughly original. I mean Wheel of Time was quite original, but it can’t touch Mistborn. At least, not on that field. It’s original in the plot, characters and setting. The basic backdrop is summed up by this question: What if the hero of prophecy failed and the Dark Lord took over the world. That’s how the book starts. The bad dude has already won. A thousand years ago. Darn.
  • It’s intricate. It’s not nearly as basic as hero must do A B and C in order to win. I’m just finished book two and I don’t have a clue what the hero has to do. I don’t think she knows, either, though. And when she thinks she does know, well…read it for yourself.
  • Sanderson took a lot of time to flesh out his magic system, creatures and universe. Even though we don’t get to see every corner of the earth, we know that each place has history and depth. Each race, each sect has something deep about it. Even when that depth is never explored.
  • You fall in love with the characters. Even the ones you’re supposed to hate. It’s a good author that attaches you to his characters.

Good books. Not without their faults, of course. I think Sanderson’s weaknesses lie in ineffectual dialogue and too much tell rather than show.

So, if you’re into fantasy and you can’t wait until the Gathering Storm comes out, I invite you to check out Mistborn. You’ll enjoy them!

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TPK Diaries #4 – Bad lungs and mice

Remember those chicken hearts? I decided to kick it up a notch. $6.00 at the local halal butcher will get you a full goat’s liver with lungs attached. How could I pass up a chance like that?
I started with great confidence, let me tell you. I had it all planned out. The onions cliced length-wise like I prefer them. The tomatoes cut ridiculously thin to that they’d dissolve quickly and spread their flavour around. The spices specially picked out and set aside in perfect quantities. All looked good.
The trouble started with the smell. Though I suppose it wasn’t really trouble, but a foreshadowing of it. It stunk. It stunk while it fried. It stunk while it boiled. It stunk the whole two hours I spent cooking it.
But I’m not discouraged from a task so easily! I poured my heart and soul into the lung/liver combo of glory. And it actually started looking good. I was even, through deft handling of heat and herbs, able to keep the nauseous smell to a minimum. And, to top it all off, instead of making plain, home-made roti, we ordered some glorious naan from the nearby Afghani restaurant. I was hopeful.
But hope, at times, is not well-founded. The first bit told us that. The second bite confirmed it. The third bite assumed we were crazy for continuing.
It reminded me of the immortal Robbie Burns:

The best laid schemes o’ Mice an’ Men,
Gang aft agley,
An’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain,
For promis’d joy!

I tried my best. But it wasn’t good enough. I’ll try harder next time, but let’s face it. Our best laid plans gang aft agley.
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Forceful

I have a lot of books. Some of them are pretty wild. But I think none of them compare to The Force of Star Wars by Frank Allnutt.

I found it at a used bookstore in St. Catharines. I was drawn to it because, well, I’m drawn to almost anything Star Wars. And once I opened it I knew I needed to buy it. It’s someone’s ham-handed attempt to present the Gospel through Star Wars. I bought it immediately.
Now, I can understand using secular media as an analogy for Biblical truth. Shoot, I mention Star Wars in half my sermons. But this book pushes it to the limit. I want to share a choice chuckle-worthy passage with you:

Luke and Solo represent two distinct groups of believer: Luke, with his religious heritage, and Solo, who was from a totally nonreligious background.
The book of Revelation contains prophecy of two similar groups of believers in the True Force. In the story of the two witnesses in the eleventh chapter, we read that these two witnesses are also two olive trees and two lampstands. This, of course, is figurative language. The answer to this riddle is found in the other sections of the Bible.

In Luke and Solo, then, we see allegory for both Hebrew Christians and Gentile Christians. Just as these characters from Star Wars were oppressed by the Imperial forces of the Emperor, so will Hebrew Christians and Gentile Christians be persecuted by Satan’s ambassador to planet earth, the Antichrist.

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