Jesus is the ultimate sleep-killer, don’t you think? Which is strange, because religion really puts me to bed.
Jesus is exciting. He’s such a complex, deep personality. Look at how he tenderly deals with prostitutes and money-grabbing bureaucrats, and then turns around and rips religious leaders to shreds. He bounces children on his knee and then causes a one-man riot in the temple, complete with whips and harsh words.
Yeah, Jesus keeps me up at night. Here’s a few reasons why:
1) Jesus doesn’t let me compromise. He didn’t ever compromise and he didn’t care what people thought of him. Tell Jesus that he’s being too unconventional or radical and you’ll probably get called a harsh name like white-washed tomb or viper or (if he’s a close friend) satan.
2) Jesus doesn’t let me get away with anything. Remember when Peter denied him? Jesus looked straight at him. He came later and pounded him with those three ‘love me’ questions. I mean, ouch!
3) Jesus is really, really, REALLY kind. Punks are beating him down and he’s still talking about forgiveness. That’s odd. That’s very odd. Jesus is not normal. And I’m supposed to be like HIM?
4) Jesus promises Ultimate Power. Just like in a Fantasy book only better. Rand Al’Thor may be able to touch the One Power, but he still can’t control the madness within him. Jesus helps me control it. Jesus slowly pulls the taint off my soul.
5) Jesus confuses me. I don’t get him. I really don’t get him.
6) Jesus loves me.
7) I love Jesus. That’s even cooler, in some ways, than him loving me.
So thanks, Jesus, for keeping me up at night. You’re always a good reason to lose sleep.
This is second-hand unless you’re reading it at http://www.theilliteratescribe.com