Hey Ruth, you’re coming home.

by MW Cook

I bet you’ll be reading this during your billion-hour layover at JFK. There’s nothing worse than being bored, so here’s some things that you can do to occupy your time:

  • Watch Nyan Cat.

The Nyan cat is Zen. She is absurd, yet there she is. She speaks, yet she makes no sense. And that’s okay because you’re in an airport and the only reason you are there is to leave.

  • Watch Frozen’s Let it Go

The only problem with this song is how long is lives in your head once you’ve heard it. But I figure it wouldn’t be bad for you to have a song stuck in your head right now. You’ve got nothing else to do, right?

  • Watch Strangers

It’s not creepy. See, this lady even videos when she people watches. And she makes it look classy. You totally look classier when you people watch, though.

  • Talk to Strangers

I remember having great talks with strangers in airports. Everyone there is as bored as you, and I bet they’d love it if you said ‘hi.’

  • Watch a Movie

Here’s the iconic Khabi Khushi Khabie Gham, starring basically everyone in Bollywood. The first Bollywood movie I ever saw.

  • Listen to an Alan Watts Lecture

Partially for the zen, but mostly for the soothing British voice telling you that nothing’s worth worrying about.

And if all else fails:

  • Watch the Infinite Nyan Cat

Not truly infinite, of course. Ten hours is the limit that any computer is willing to loop this video.

There you go, Ruth. I hope that burns a couple hours for you.

Anything else I’d like to say is better said when you get here.

See you soon.

I’ll see you soon.