My Journey #5 – Not all who wander are lost.
by MW Cook
I guess that nearly leads us to the present, in wide, sweeping brush-strokes. There was no way to tell the whole complex story, but I told enough to be comfortable with.
I also feel comfortable enough to share hints about where I seem to be right now. Not because people will understand and accept it, but because I don’t feel like I need understanding or acceptance. And, man, it feels awesome to no longer need those things.
I’ve gotten some private feedback from people wondering what I’ve replaced Christianity with. The short answer is nothing. I have not found, nor looked for, anything to replace the all-pervasive hold that Christianity had on my life.
That being said, I’m into Zen, which is as much a surprise to me as it is to anyone else. I don’t actually have anything to say about it right now. I used to think it was a silly empty thing. And it totally is, but not in the way I thought. If you look into Zen you’ll probably get frustrated by the cryptic one-liners the old Zen masters liked to throw around. Don’t be too hard on them. Zen can’t be expressed without either sounding ridiculous or completely misrepresenting it. Much like the best parts of Christianity (1 Cor. 1:23).
People will say I’m wandering. And I am. I totally am. But that doesn’t make me lost, despite what my friends may say. I can’t say where I am or where I’m going, but I love this journey. And I’m always home. My destination is in each step.
I love you.
And I bet you love me, too.
I can’t say you are right or wrong; you not only don’t need me to, but sometimes I have no idea myself. I feel like this is part of your journey. I also want to say that this has made me want to dive deeper into the scriptures myself. I’ve been trying really hard to “follow my heart” lately, and be sensitive to things, the only thing I feel like I need to leave you with is this: I hope that you still talk to Jesus. You didn’t really mention anything about prayer on this present part of your journey. That’s all I really have to say. I do still love you, and though we haven’t talked or seen each other in many years, I do think of you and your family, and I still consider you a dear friend.
You have jumped off the boat into the crystal clear blue water and the boat is moving away. The beautiful white sands of the shore are close by and all around you are fish and aquatic life of every imaginable type. Your mind is stirred with awe and wonder at the sights so you take a deep breath and dive down for a closer look. When you come up you notice you have drifted away from land a bit but there is no fear in you as you reach out to reacquire the life vest that you took off for the dive. Again and again you submerge yourself each time exploring new areas of the colorful reef. After some time you notice the shore a great way off and you can now feel the current pulling, pulling you out to sea. As you turn to look at the horizon there are dark clouds and the wind is picking up. What will I do if the wind drives me into that storm you ask yourself, from where will my help come?
Matthew, You are right, “not all who wander are lost”. But it is also true that not all who adhere to their Christian beliefs are narrow-minded, judgemental, etc. I, too, have “wandered”. Meaning questioning my beliefs, re-thinking my view world views. I did it within the context of my faith. I knew God was perfectly ok with all my questions. God bless you in your journey.
Dear Matthew on a Journey,
mystery speaks in bright colours of the morning
And silence wails in the glory of night.
awesome…no ground at all…lovely :)…this is real faith…
A truly mindful journey. You are right the destination is in each step, if we are mindful to see it. Thank you for your posts! You are giving me courage! Stay honest to my heart!
Thanks for the encouragement. It really warms my day :)