I have a lot of good ideas. Really, I mean it. You should see some of my ideas for this blog and my writing and what I’m doing over here. I mean, I’m just bursting with super-cool, wonderful, God-glorifying ideas. And I don’t just have the ideas, either. I have the means to pull them off. When I really sit down and think about it, I find that I could probably manage to pull off a handful of my greatest ideas at the same time. And some of my great ideas give results that lead to even greater ideas. I’ve no lack of ideas and I’ve no lack for the means to get them done.
But I still don’t seem to get them done.
I feel like there’s something missing. Like I’m a machine with a part out of whack. Right now I sit here and type and think of my wonderful ideas and I’m excited to get working toward their completion. But I’ve felt this way before, and my ideas are still no more than ideas. Why? Am I just lazy? I have the skills and resources to do these cool things, but they’re not getting done.
I think there’s something wrong with my will. It’s not quite as free as I’d like it to be because it changes and shifts like dunes in the Thar. I guess Jesus knew what he was talking about when he pointed out that whoever sins is a slave.
But the trap many Reformed-minded people like me fall into when thinking about this is a sort of ‘holy’ despair. We get to thinking that we are so depraved that we can’t do anything useful at all and we might as well sit around until the Spirit takes over and does what needs to be done. But it doesn’t work that way. It’s a fight, eh? So I guess I should fight.
Any ideas on how to fight? What do you do if you have a God-glorifying idea or project or dream that you have the ability to pull off, but not the will?