by MW Cook
Shan, now thoroughly convinced that the way to true happiness lies through meditation, and devotion to the light side, has become a boring character in this story. It is therefore my duty to kill him, and replace him with a character much more suited to the task of climing the tree and speaking with the three ‘cheese dancing’ goats. O, wait a second, Shan is motioning to me… “What’s that? You went over to the dark side? No, that can’t be possible…” Sorry folks, I misinterpreted. Shan was just saying that he wants to be part of the annual bark climb of the old Jedi order. Now its making sense. Each year the Jedi send a special troop to try and climb the tallest tree, the winner gets a turquoise light saber, and a 5 dollar bill. The tallest tree if you recall is John Paul’s tree, except that it was apparently cut down by a clumsy Jedi Padawan named Danny Fleecepants, when he was practicing his lightsaber throw in the middle of the forest… All of that is to say that the annual tree to be climbed this year is none other than the tree in the land of Inis. So Shan doesn’t have to be removed from the story, and now he has a little more strength and wit, O and he acquired a tiny little shoulder pal named Gordan, who used to be a lab rat from Texas.